Hamilton's Dumbest Criminals

As the old tv show lamented "These stories are ripped from the back pages of the newspaper". To bring it up to date the crime section of the online version of the  local paper. These are,

Heist at a lemonade stand. Thieves cart off 10-year-old's cooler. ‘Disgusting,' mom fumes. While 10-year-old Madison Lord was cleaning out the stainless steel cooler she uses for her lemonade stand, she ran out of soap. The cooler had been sitting idle for a week, and mould had started to grow while she was at summer camp. She turned her back, leaving her post for only 15 or 20 seconds. When she returned, the cooler was gone. Stolen. Thrown into the flatbed of a silver Dodge Ram, a new one, with a tandem trailer attached full of scrap metal. Madison ran after the thieves, yelling at them as her heart broke.
“She's devastated,” said her mom, Stephanie Smith.
“I would just love to know who did it,” she added.

I agree my message to these a**holes,

Oh and I hope you have some extra private medical insurance and a good doctor, you might need it, buddy.

From creeps to a kid in love with his bunny, and the residences who wish he could just have bought a card.

There’s no love lost between local residents and a big, bold declaration spanning the Jolley Cut.
“Whoever wrote it should be chastised,” John Marshall said of the large “I love u Bunny (sic)” graffiti scrawled in white paint across the side of the roadway.
“They should really put a stop to this, because it’s starting to piss me off.”
Ward 2 Councillor Jason Farr said he wasn’t aware of the message before The Spectator posted a photo of it on thespec.com Monday. Since then, his office has gotten at least two complaints about it. “I’d like to find who’s in love with Bunny, because they’d be doing the cleaning,” he said.
Farr, who’s calling for a cleanup, said he would have found the statement much more heartwarming “if it had been in banner form.”
“Hopefully Bunny has seen the message … and now we can delete the message,” he said. I think if Bunny has any dignity left, the only 'cotton' lover boy will be chasing will be a box of Cottonelle.

And from the Annals of the Hall of Shame I give you these two half wits,

Nearly naked biker charged

It was speed and the fact he wasn’t wearing a helmet that first caught the attention of a Hamilton police officer patrolling Upper Sherman Avenue. But on second look, the officer noticed the 40-year-old motorcycle driver was missing more than his helmet — he was wearing only a T-shirt.
“He had no pants, no underwear,” said Acting Staff Sergeant David Hennick.
The patrolling officer was travelling northbound on Upper Sherman near Mohawk Road 4 a.m. Sunday, when the speeding motorcycle passed him going southbound.
The motorcycle driver then lost control of his bike, only to get back up and try to flee on his bike again, Hennick said.
At one point the man tried to flee on foot, “there was a brief struggle,” and then the man was arrested, he said.
The 40-year-old Hamilton man is facing charges including dangerous driving and flight from police.
Alcohol was a factor. He blew in the “warm range,” which is between 0.5 and 0.8, and received a three day licence suspension.

Finally I don't think this dumbass could even say "peace de la resistance" so I will refer him as another "peace-o-shite" going cheaper than than BJ on Barton.

For pete's sake, say no to drugs!
Or you will end up like the Toronto loser whom Hamilton cops charged with theft and drug charges after a strange series of events at the McMaster University GO TRANSIT complex. Police say a GO bus driver had left his bus for a washroom break yesterday afternoon. When the driver returned, he found the bus' doors had been pried open and the cash box was missing. Several students pointed the finger of blame at a man sitting in nearby bus shelter. McMaster Security approached the 22 year-old, who admitted the theft. While making the arrest, officers noticed a bag next to the man who denied it was his. A search of the bag turned up a quantify of crystal meth, ecstasy and a suspected date-rape drug. Also in the bag (dum-de-dum-really dum) ... the Toronto man's I-D. Doh!

Later,
Kenaz