Searching the Web for the Wacky

At Canada.com they offer a selection of blogs to peruse that range from the cerebral Dark Matter which offers the latest on science, space, the environment and medical matters written by Tom Spears of the Ottawa Citizen, to the aptly named Strange Blog. Jack Branswell, a senior editor with canada.com offers stories almost too strange for print, like a woman, who was trying to raise money to pay for her husband's bail. Ends up landing herself in jail for allegedly stealing credit cards from her parents to post the bond money. The husband is free and she is in jail. Then there is the down right wrong,Web Junkie offers web pages that completey goes against the laws of morality. The web site hallucinaut preaches the benefits of wearing hats made from aluminum foil in case of Alien invader attacks (the exterrestrial kind). Not only do they keep the aliens from controlling your minds, they look great, too.




Today I offer a selection from rinkworks.com of incredible but true excerpts from courtroom transcripts in which people either misspoke under the pressure or where truly out of it.

*Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
*Witness: "I only have one, you know."

* Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
* Witness: "By death."
* Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

* Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

* Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
* Witness: "July 15th."
* Lawyer: "What year?"
* Witness: "Every year."

* Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
* Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
* Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
* Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
* Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
* Witness: "'Winchester'!"

* Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
* Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
* Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
* Witness: "Er...his face."

* Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
* Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
* Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
* Witness: "My name is Susan."

* Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
* Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

And this is my favourite, some lawyers deserve the bad rap they get(*kidding)
# Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
# Witness: "No."
# Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
# Witness: "No."
# Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
# Witness: "No."
# Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
# Witness: "No."
# Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
# Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
# Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
# Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Later,
Kenaz