It turns out the universal language isn't the language of love after all, at least not here at Kandahar airfield.
No, the universal language here is all about coffee.
"I'll have a large double-double and a regular," said a young soldier with an Australian accent, stopping in at the base Tim Hortons.
"We call it Tim Hortonese -- Tim Hortons lingo," laughs Kelly Taylor, 42, of Oromocto, N.B. who has been working at the base since July while her military husband is at home.
"The British will come up and ask us for a regular coffee, only 'regular' in Tim Hortons language is one milk, one sugar. Only to them it's not -- it's white, whatever that means," she added.
Currently, 1,300 customers a day file through the Kandahar Tim Hortons from the military of 12 countries stationed on the base.
Whereas Canadians file in and out as if they are on a conveyor belt, it takes a lot longer for others.
"It takes a little while to pick up the lingo," said Air Engineering Technician Daniel Stace from Darbyshire, England, who is in the Royal Navy.
"A double-double? It took me a while to work that one out, but normally I just stick to the bagels and the orange juice," he said.
Others don't even try to learn the language of Tims.
"No, not yet, because I only just drink black coffee and so that's just fine by me," said Sergeant Mike Koninkle of the Netherlands.
"I'm not quite familiar with all the slang around Tim Hortons and I just drink coffee and that's it and I don't need all the fancy coffee or tea."
Taylor boasts that she can tell a soldier's nationality even if they speak perfect English and are not wearing a uniform, simply by what they order.
"The British and the Dutch mostly will order Boston creams and Canadian maples... and the Americans will probably order five dozen doughnuts at a time. And the British and the Dutch always order the very sweet cappuccinos," Taylor explained.
"Canadians order bagels and coffee," she said.
The confusion over the Tim Hortonese has Taylor vowing to put a Tim Horton-English dictionary on the door of the store.
"I'm going to write a dictionary and post it on the outside of the door for all the non-Canadians. That's my job for the next week."
I stopped at "timmy's";(another slang for the franchise that is so engraved in the lexicon of our English); tonight after work to kill some time before my bus arrived and I remembered this story and it made my cup of black coffee and Tim Bits taste that much better. As Christmas draws closer lets all take a second out of our busy lives to remember all of our unsung heros serving our country in Aghganistan and around the world. Cheers! come home soon.
Later,
Kenaz
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