One ringy dingy, is anybody there at Hamilton City Hall?

Interruptions, childish out bursts, insults short of "your mother!". A local playground? No, a meeting of Hamilton council. The playpen squabble? Extending local calls to the suburbs. The answer so obvious; to borrow a phrase from a popular info-commercial "so easy, even a child could do it!"

And to further my allegory to info-mercials, "for just a penny a day" on your phone bill you can have the "privilege" of phoning to the burbs for free. Since 2001, Hamilton has been "one" city officially, long before that we have all lived with the conundrum that is the "905" area code.

Here's the argument that my councillor and other inner city councillors offer, "it's not fair for the whole city to pay the cost of reducing phone rates for the suburbs when they enjoy the benefits of area rating, in which they don't pay the full costs for services such as transit and recreational facilities."

This is so ridicules it's not even funny even if it was a joke. Benefits? You can't take a bus to Binbrook or most of the sub-burbs from Hamilton and there are few recreational facilities in these areas to begin with. What the hell benefits are these councillors talking about?

To prove my point, Sam Merulla, inner city councillor, delivered an eloquent and impassioned speech that's so far over the top, I wonder if he was smelling burnt toast at the time.

Merulla says the 30 cents a month would impact the most marginalized residents to subsidize the wealthiest in the suburbs. If council does this, then they have to revisit area rating to ensure everyone pays equally for all services, regardless of where they live. He says the proposal is a "catalyst" that underlines the hypocrisy of past support for reducing business taxes.

Merulla is surprised by some of the councillors who support the motion. They are, "voting in favour of the hypocrisy and inconsistency, the unpredictability which basically are the characteristics of a dysfunctional environment."

What thesaurus did Merulla swallow? If he's so concerned about the impoverished in his riding, he'd realize most of his constituents either can't understand him or see through his paper thin mirage of deceit. Two can play his game.

Councillor Jackson tries to talk about removing irritants, Merulla becomes one himself, repeatedly interrupting with audible mumbling, something along the lines of "I could'va been a contender" or something like that.

Mayor Eisenberger called Merulla on it, urging a respectful debate, a few more minutes of childish taunts before the good Mayor hands out the "soothies" in the way of an altimatum for the debate to stop getting silly and demands a vote.

In the end council agreed to add an amendment, asking the CRTC to reconsider the 30 cents a month price structure. Then they all voted to support going forward with the request to make all calls within Hamilton local calls. Well, two meetings down in 2007 and the pampers are already full. I hope a new shipment is on its way or its going to be a long four years.

Later,
Kenaz