A shave and a shoe shine and Bruce is...looking bad! 

Back in the kitchen with Zelda. 

Igor loves animals 

But has to ask, "The Sloth" if he can keep him. But as usual the answer was no, poor Igor. 

Another educational segment, with animals. 

the Doc explains his animal. 

Introducing Dr. Pet Vet 

Price 

Price 

Mini Count. I wonder if Mike Myers got the idea for mini Me from this show. 

The doctor is in, Billy again. 

Look's! it's Count Santa! 

Time to clean the chimney. 

Billy Van as a Witch doing a cooking show. He did the character with a Cher accent and manerisms, it has to be seen to understand how funny this character was. 

Aaron the Ape getting no respect. 

Reading his 'Out of Order' crystal ball. 

'Out of Order' 

The laboratory 

The Guru. He did segments that taught things like astrology and horiscopes. 

Price as the Wizard. 

This character introduced wild life segments. 

No joke, Igor here was played by Guy Big. 

Billy Van as the Count 

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein 

Vincent Price 

Happy New Year!

"Auld Lang Syne"

With Christmas over and a January 23 election looming on the horizon brighter than Stephen Harpers cluesless blue eyes. In keeping with tradition of many Canadaian's who take advantage of the after Christmas specials to clean up on cheap, used or slightly damaged discount goods, here is my list of polital gifts for this years crop of candidates. Please hum along with the music as you read, this could be the last song some of these candidates hear at this years dance, unless someone requests the less tasteful but yet more appropriate "a**hole" song.

Stephen Harper gets a pair of tweezers to remove that protruding stick from his backside and a copy of a copy of Machiavelli's The Prince. A world map to show him that Canada isn't a northern European welfare state , a copy of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, constitutional law textbooks. A dream catcher because we all know what he would use that for because he just keeps on dreaming. A brain from the wizard!

Paul Martin: A dictionary, to look up the word "hyprocrite, a big kiss from Bono. A Canadian flag so he could pass it on to his sons who now control Canada Steamship Lines. Maybe they could re-raise it on one of the ships that Paul gave a flag of convenience. A giant box of bandages as a little memento for him to hold up high and remind people of all the cuts he made to programs in the '90s, such as health care, military spending, housing etc. Tea and crumpets at Jean Chrétien's house. A new shovel because his is certainly broke from all the crap he's been throwing around. A heart from the wizard!

Jack Layton: A clue and some new flip-flops, he has been going through these like crazy! An old copy of the Communist Manifesto, so he and the NDP can quit hiding there roots. One night's free stay at any hospital in Canada. Courage from the Wizard!

Gilles Duceppe: English muffins and a copy of "You Know Your a Redneck When", so he can quit lying about his roots. The new Larousse Dictionary, the one with definitions for "separation," "independence" and "sovereignty association" in it so that he can decide which one he stands for. A prominent appearance on Molson's newest "I am Canadian/je suis Canadien" advertisement. A flight courtesy of a flying monkey around Canada.

To Sheila Copps, a cork, a sock, pie ... anything! She will know where to put it.

To all Canadians, a memory, as people seem to have forgotten that Paul Martin was "cutting the budgets" like crazy a decade ago. Suddenly, he's the defender of our socialist ideals? And a giant foam finger so we can better wave our indignation for all of the wrongs we the people have suffered. It would say "#1," in both French and English.

To the Conservative party, a platform. Running a "we're not them" campaign will not work as most people prefer the devil they know.

To the NDP, The Wealth of Nations so they can reminise about 'what was once' over a cup of joe and a box of Tim bits, because a 'Hortons will be the only place the NDP Party will be able to afford after January 23.

Later,
Kenaz

The Kenaz Awards For 2005

http://www.frinkism.com/collective/973/9400.jpg. The awards for those who made the headlines in 2005 in the spirit of this site.

Welcome to the first annual Kenaz awards. No glitz, no glamour, no expensive hand outs. Just a cold beer and some cheese to celebrate the stories that made you cheer, jeer or say 'Good lord!".

Missed The Boat Award
Goes to Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin for thinking his proposed handgun ban will stop the growing violence on Toronto streets and in other cities.

Warm and Fuzzies Award
Goes to nine year old Hannah Taylor who addressed Toronto's leaders of business on the subject of the growing homeless problem.

Person of the Year
Bill and Melinda Gates who give more money away to hummanitarian efforts than the Canadian government does! Need I say more.

Humanitarian Award
Angelina Jolie for her work with refugee children.

Iron Man Award
Hands down the biggest sports story was Lance Armstrong beating Cancer and winning his Seventh Tour de France

Anger Management Award
Russell Crowfor throwing a phone in a hotel in New York.

Injustice Award and Biggest Loser Award
The U.S and George Bush for denial of the truth, that it is time to leave Iraq

Wack Job of the Year
Tom Cruise for his many rants this year. ranging from his declaration of love to Oprah to blasting Brooke Sheilds for taking anti-depression medication.

Rockin the Planet Award
Live 8

Finally Something Good on TV Award
Chef Jamie Oliver's proactive assault on the school meals "crisis" in England

Wacky News Story of the Year
The six-foot alligator found protruding from the mid-section of a 13-foot Burmese python.

Bizzaro World Award
This has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in years. In case you missed it, here's Mike Tyson singing "Monster Mash" from the Halloween episode of Jimmy Kimmell.


Over Hyped Story of the Year
The $100 dollar laptop Where are these poor kids in Africa supposed to plug this damn thing in?

On the Horizon Award
Already a big story in Europe and Asia if it isn't stopped the Bird Flue can be next years Tragic Story of the Year.

Career Achievement Award
To Peter Jennings for his contributions to making the world a more understandable place.

Tragic Story of the Year
A tie.
Tsunami in Southeast Asia
Hurricane Katrina

Later,
Kenaz

Best Commercials of 2005

Advertisers have certainly ran the gamut of taste this year with their offering of television ads. I don't want to induce nausia by bringing up the plethera of underwear splatter that inindated our air waves. Lets just say the worst ad award goes to "Go Daddy.com" for treating their customers like cavemen. Their ads depict a now WWE "Diva" performing an impromptu strip tease at a congressional hearing type conference. Gimme a break! Thank god Sergey Brin and Larry Page, founders of the number one search engine "Google" don't need to stoop as low as Bob Parsons

Now lets get on with my picks for the best television ads for 2005. These are all from www.ifilm.com

All of these open in Windows Media Player,

Anheuser Busch-Bud Light: Cedric the Entertainer

CareerBuilder.com: Monkey Business

CareerBuilder.com: More Monkey Business

CareerBuilder.com: Kissing Monkey Butt

Visa: Can Superheroes Help?

Quizno's: Talking Baby

Pizza Hut: It's the Muppet Show

Degree for Men

Ameriquest: Cat Killer

These Canadian Ads are from www.canada4life.ca/videos.php and are in .mmv format.

Molson- Do you really want to hurt me?

Molson-Pet Beaver

From http://www.advertisementave.com

Federal Express-Castaway

Mastercard-Speding Quality Time with Your Family -Featuring Homer Simpson

Apple-Flight with Verne and Yao

Budweiser-What's Up - Outer Space

As far as some of my favourite new ones, at the top of the list has to be that new Geico commercial with Tony Little pretending to advertise his exercise machine. The

"I just saved a ton of money on my auto insurance by switching to Geico... YOU CAN DO IT!!"

The only thing better is if they got Susan Powter to poke fun of her ads from the eighties, the ones in which she screams "Stop the Insanity!".

Later,
Kenaz