If you want my attention, money or my loyalty here is my top ten ways you as a marketer or person can keep me and other introverts from wishing bad things would happen to you.
1.Don't invade my personal space-I don't like interruptions, uninvited visits or phone calls. I hate telemarketers, so much, my old answering machine message stated "If you are family, leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible, if you are trying to sell me something, hang up now!" It was quite effective, but a bit long. Anyway back to my point, extroverts will take the call, listen to your shpeel, politely tell you their not interested, four times! Then hang up, huff, puff, hit the high blood pressure button, yell, and curse the devil. Introverts get call display, get an answering machine and have your number blocked. Also they have no qualms whatsoever about hanging up on you or closing the door in your face. I'm not your friend I don't care if you think I'm rude.
2.Intoverts are info junkies-I would rather read those stupid ads on a bus than listen to someone yak non stop about their favourite ways to get drunk for fifteen minutes. So listen up marketers, put ads on buses that are interesting. Forget the booze ads, try ones that promote literacy and the arts. Or just try to sell me something I or the guy telling the dumb story can use mouthwash and deordarant.
3.I'm an introvert, just because I have an intent look on my face and don't say anything while you talk, it doesn't mean I'm brain dead!-Just because you talked to me doesn't mean I care a damn about what you have to offer. Make your point, and make it quick, if I'm interested I take your reading material and study it and get back to you if it interests me. This point is expecially for you religious groups who see fit to bug you at 8:00am on a Sunday in the middle of January. While not getting the hint to remove your foot from my door so I can close it and keep my heat in. You insist on wasting my time on stupid querries like do you think their is room in the world for more than one religious deity. Um, yes! You intolerant Judas goat!
4.The cute act doesn't cut it cookie!- Just because introverts tend to internalize and keep their personalities under raps, doesn't mean we don't have one. So don't act like a chihuahua on crack. Don't be giggly, peppy, over positive, enthusiastic or act like you just took the Tony Little motivation home course. Instead, be polite, know your stuff, get to the point, leave written material or menu and get lost.
5.Don't ASS-U-ME-As the old saying goes, or you the extrovert may end up getting my goat and looking like the donkey. Just because you may or may not hang out with important people and throw their names around like water, I don't care, it doesn't make me jealous because I don't know these people. Just because intoverts see no reason to window dress their egos like a two bit hooker and are willing to risk not getting ahead in the company because they aren't agressive in selling themselves, that doesn't mean they are losers, it just means me have the patience to wait until our skills sell themselves.
6.Once we make up our minds, that's it!-This means N O H Y P E. Not now! Not ever! Not only does brow beating not work, it is exhausting to introverts because we give energy while extroverts suck energy. When I get tired from hearing the same stupid thing over and over, I get irratable and annoyed. To quote Popeye, "I'se give, till I kansk take no more!" Than I start grabbing for the spinach!
7.Introverts are greatly afraid of making mistakes in public and don't like being humiliated-If you have something to say to me of a sensative or personal nature, do this in private. Give clear instructions and a demonstration of what you want. Then leave it with me and go! Don't hover over me. No matter how confident in my abilities I am you will make me feel like a child again.
8.Introverts hate small talk-With a passion! If you would like to make an excellent first impression, be polite and come quickly to the point. Above all, don't ask personal questions and by that I mean things that are none of your business, like where do you live, I don't want to invite you to my house.
9.Introverts hate rambling phone calls and cell phones are a neccessary evil not gods creation-Don't phone me and yak on about what your kids did in kindergarten, what you had for dinner or your beef with the hydro company. Surprise! I don't care! If I need to contact you, the introvert is an excellent writer of their thoughts, I will email you with a percise question and I expect the same in the form of a response.
Oh, please don't give me your facebook nickname, I'm not into instant chat and I don't want to be your buddy. I believe in the old ways of decorum when communicating, I hate bad grammer and stupid short hand, don't give me "lol" or I'll give you "wtf!".
While I'm on a role if I'm talking to you and your cell phone goes off, don't expect me to stand their while you yak. I'll get back to you when your not so busy.
10.Introverts say what they mean-If you haven't guessed. Please feel right at home and ad a comment if you wish. I may respond. Wink.
Later,
Kenaz
Showing posts with label extroverts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label extroverts. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The myth of the "anti-social" Introvert
The trait of Extroversion-Introversion is a key stone of human personality. Extroverts are gregarious, assertive, and generally seek out excitement. Introverts, in contrast, are more reserved, less outgoing, and less sociable. They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts.
Most people mistakenly believe that an extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing. The proverbial "life of the party". While that may be true, that is not the true meaning of extraversion. Essentially, an extravert is a person who becomes energized when in contact with other people; while an introvert is a person who finds the energy within themselves.
Extroverts tend to "fade" when alone and can easily become bored without other people around. When given the chance, an extravert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think. Extraverts tend to think as they speak, unlike introverts who are far more likely to think before speaking.
Extroversion is defined as "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self" according to Websters Dictionary. Extroverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone.
Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life". Introverts tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and relatively non-engaged in social situations. They take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, watching movies, listening to music, inventing, and designing. An introverted person is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people (although they may enjoy one-to-one or one-to-few interactions with close friends).
According to Carl Jung, introversion and extraversion refer to the direction of psychic energy. If a person’s energy usually flows outwards, he or she is an extravert, while if this energy normally flows inwards, this person is an introvert. Extroverts feel an increase of perceived energy when interacting with a large group of people, but a decrease of energy when left alone. Conversely, introverts feel an increase of energy when alone, but a decrease of energy when surrounded by a large group of people.
Extroversion-introversion is normally measured by self-report. For example the Myers-Briggs Personality Type test. In her studies of people and extensive reading of Jung's theories, Isabel Briggs Myers concluded there were four primary ways people differed from one another. She labeled these differences "preferences" - drawing a similarity to "hand preferences" to illustrate that although we all use both of our hands, most of us have a preference for one over the other and "it" takes the lead in many of the activities in which we use our hands.
The first set of mental preferences relates to how people "Perceive" or take in information. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the second letter. "S" Those who prefer Sensing Perception favor clear, tangible data and information that fits in well with their direct here-and-now experience. "N" In contrast, those who prefer Intuition Perception are drawn to information that is more abstract, conceptual, big-picture, and represents imaginative possibilities for the future.
The second set of mental preferences identifies how people form "Judgments" or make decisions. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the third letter.
"T" Those who prefer Thinking Judgment have a natural preference for making decisions in an objective, logical, and analytical manner with an emphasis on tasks and results to be accomplished. "F" Those whose preference is for Feeling Judgment make their decisions in a somewhat global, visceral, harmony and value-oriented way, paying particular attention to the impact of decisions and actions on other people.
There are two other mental preferences that are part of the Myers-Briggs model: Energy Orientation and Outer World Orientation. The first one is the dimension of personality discovered by Carl Jung that became widely adopted by general psychology: Extraversion-Introversion. The second is the dimension of personality that is Myers' unique contribution to Jung's theory, an element she inferred from Jung's work but was not clearly addressed as an essential component of his theory of types. This is the style or orientation one uses in dealing with the external world: Judging or Perceiving.
Energy Orientation pertains to the two forms of Energy Consciousness each of us experiences on a daily basis. We occupy two mental worlds: one is inwardly turned, the other is outward. One of these worlds is our elemental source of energy; the other secondary. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the first letter.
"I" Those who prefer Introversion draw their primary energy from the inner world of information, thoughts, ideas, and other reflections. When circumstances require an excessive amount of attention spent in the "outside" world, those preferring Introversion find the need to retreat to a more private setting as if to recharge their drained batteries.
"E" In contrast, those who prefer Extraversion are drawn to the outside world as their elemental source of energy. Rarely, if ever, do extraverted preference people feel their energy batteries are "drained" by excessive amounts of interaction with the outside world. They must engage the things, people, places and activities going on in the outside world for their life force.
While the E-I dimension was Jung's gift to general psychology, unfortunately it has been widely distorted into a well-unwell scale with characteristics of Introversion being cast in a negative light and conversely characteristics of Extraversion cast in a positive light. This cultural bias frequently leads natural introverted types to mis-identify their primary preference as Extraversion.
Extraverted Orientation relates to which mental preference one relies upon in dealing with/relating with the Outside World. It is the mental function that takes the lead in the Extraverted portion of a person's personality. When this leading function is one of the two Judging mental preferences, then this orientation is called Judging. When this leading function is one of the two Perceiving mental preferences, then this orientation is called Perceiving. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the fourth letter.
"J" Those who prefer Judging rely upon either their T or F preference to manage their outer life. This typically leads to a style oriented towards closure, organization, planning, or in some fashion managing the things and or people found in the external environment. The drive is to order the outside world. While some people employ an assertive manner, others "ordering touch" - with respect to people - may be light.
"P" Those who prefer Perceiving rely upon either their S or N preference to run their outer life. This typically results in an open, adaptable, flexible style of relating to the things and people found in the outside world. The drive is to experience the outside world rather than order it; in general lack of closure is easily tolerated.
For person's whose Energy Orientation preference is E, the Extraverted Orientation (J or P) points to their dominant function, ergo "what you see is what you get." But for those whose Energy Orientation favors I, their Extraverted Orientation (J or P) is opposite their dominant function. Thus the four IxxJ types - whose extraverted style is Judging - are actually Perceiving types on the inside! Thus their extraverted "personality" can mask their primary nature. Likewise the four IxxP types - whose extraverted style is Perceiving and thus tend to have an open style - are actually on the inside Judging oriented!
After taking the Myers Briggs Personality Type? test I wasn't all that surprised with the results. As an introvert, I am
dependable, reliable and trustworthy, I thrive to belong to a solid organisation or employer that are reasonable in their goals and loyal to their employees. I feel useful when my roles and responsibilities are clearly established and enjoy clear feedback on productivity in tangible ways. I'm extremely modest, I prefer tradition and convention over extravagance, I like sensible clothing, I prefer thrift stores and am very careful and wise with both money and possessions.
When I'm given a project, I will see it to the end, sometimes over obsessively though. I manage time well and pretty realistic about how much time and resources will be needed. The only draw back is that if I am given an hour to do something I find it a personal goal to do it in half the time, and then get really anxious if the next task isn't immediately available. This can lead to a feeling that I am doing more than an extrovert who finds way to do a task more slowly.
I don't like change, I prefer familiarity and calm. I have stayed within a few kilometers of the neighbourhood I was raised in all my life. When I purchase something, it is after careful consideration; rarely will I buy something without having a need or use for it. Many of my possessions are personal gifts that may not have cost a lot, rather they where given out of love, and those are the ones that I cherish the most.
I tend to remember specific facts that are necessary in their day-to-day life at work and at home. I remember facts by connecting them with past experiences that have been proven trustworthy.
"A fact once experienced may be the product of circumstance and happenstance; it is not in and of itself reliable. When an introverted sensing type hears an idea, they rummage through reams of archived facts to find an experience that provides information for the relevance and realism of an idea. When an introverted sensing type utters, "It's never been done!" they are saying that no information about the relevance or usefulness of the idea is available to them. They tend to shy away from surprises and what is perceived as unnecessary change."
One of the biggest myth about introverts is "their must be something wrong with them" This couldn't be more wrong, the biggest difference between introverts and extroverts is how they react to stress.
Some people don’t understand how introverts react to stress. Because of this, they think that all introverts are “neurotic” or mentally ill. Let me explain why this is a misperception.
When extroverts are stressed they “act out”. They may smoke, drink, yell and scream, throw a punch, stomp around or generally raise the roof. Although this behavior is difficult and even obnoxious, it is not considered “mentally ill”.
When introverts are stressed, they withdraw. They do this to recharge their batteries, not because they are neurotic. Introverts need time alone to bring order back into their inner world. They give energy to others and receive energy when alone.
Let me reiterate some key points about 10% to 25% of the population who may have been told as children to "get out more" or "don't be so quiet". Introverts are territorial. Someone cannot take your seat, move your stuff, lean on your desk, ignore your closed door or borrow your clothes without making you very angry. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. If denied time alone, you may become irritable and depressed.
Introverts value privacy. When your boundaries are disregarded, when someone has a loud personal conversation on their cell phone in your captive presence, such as waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store, you can be annoyed and offended.
Introverts fear failure in public and experience deep humiliation because of it. If the teacher grabs you for a demonstration of a new skill or your spouse puts you on the spot to put a bicycle together it can be extremely stressful. Introverts prefer to communicate in writing. They may feel exhausted by too much verbal communication that “isn’t going anywhere”. Introverts hate small talk. Introverts like to be prepared. If rushed to present a solution or opinion, they may be extremely uncomfortable and sometimes refuse to do so at all.
Just because you see someone or work with someone who internalizes their feelings and aren't the one who is the first to lead the team, it doesn't mean they don't have ideas to share. Sometimes the "quiet man" is the one who has the most to share. It is theorized that Albert Einstein was an introvert.
Later,
Kenaz
Most people mistakenly believe that an extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing. The proverbial "life of the party". While that may be true, that is not the true meaning of extraversion. Essentially, an extravert is a person who becomes energized when in contact with other people; while an introvert is a person who finds the energy within themselves.
Extroverts tend to "fade" when alone and can easily become bored without other people around. When given the chance, an extravert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think. Extraverts tend to think as they speak, unlike introverts who are far more likely to think before speaking.
Extroversion is defined as "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self" according to Websters Dictionary. Extroverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone.
Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life". Introverts tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and relatively non-engaged in social situations. They take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, watching movies, listening to music, inventing, and designing. An introverted person is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people (although they may enjoy one-to-one or one-to-few interactions with close friends).
According to Carl Jung, introversion and extraversion refer to the direction of psychic energy. If a person’s energy usually flows outwards, he or she is an extravert, while if this energy normally flows inwards, this person is an introvert. Extroverts feel an increase of perceived energy when interacting with a large group of people, but a decrease of energy when left alone. Conversely, introverts feel an increase of energy when alone, but a decrease of energy when surrounded by a large group of people.
Extroversion-introversion is normally measured by self-report. For example the Myers-Briggs Personality Type test. In her studies of people and extensive reading of Jung's theories, Isabel Briggs Myers concluded there were four primary ways people differed from one another. She labeled these differences "preferences" - drawing a similarity to "hand preferences" to illustrate that although we all use both of our hands, most of us have a preference for one over the other and "it" takes the lead in many of the activities in which we use our hands.
The first set of mental preferences relates to how people "Perceive" or take in information. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the second letter. "S" Those who prefer Sensing Perception favor clear, tangible data and information that fits in well with their direct here-and-now experience. "N" In contrast, those who prefer Intuition Perception are drawn to information that is more abstract, conceptual, big-picture, and represents imaginative possibilities for the future.
The second set of mental preferences identifies how people form "Judgments" or make decisions. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the third letter.
"T" Those who prefer Thinking Judgment have a natural preference for making decisions in an objective, logical, and analytical manner with an emphasis on tasks and results to be accomplished. "F" Those whose preference is for Feeling Judgment make their decisions in a somewhat global, visceral, harmony and value-oriented way, paying particular attention to the impact of decisions and actions on other people.
There are two other mental preferences that are part of the Myers-Briggs model: Energy Orientation and Outer World Orientation. The first one is the dimension of personality discovered by Carl Jung that became widely adopted by general psychology: Extraversion-Introversion. The second is the dimension of personality that is Myers' unique contribution to Jung's theory, an element she inferred from Jung's work but was not clearly addressed as an essential component of his theory of types. This is the style or orientation one uses in dealing with the external world: Judging or Perceiving.
Energy Orientation pertains to the two forms of Energy Consciousness each of us experiences on a daily basis. We occupy two mental worlds: one is inwardly turned, the other is outward. One of these worlds is our elemental source of energy; the other secondary. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the first letter.
"I" Those who prefer Introversion draw their primary energy from the inner world of information, thoughts, ideas, and other reflections. When circumstances require an excessive amount of attention spent in the "outside" world, those preferring Introversion find the need to retreat to a more private setting as if to recharge their drained batteries.
"E" In contrast, those who prefer Extraversion are drawn to the outside world as their elemental source of energy. Rarely, if ever, do extraverted preference people feel their energy batteries are "drained" by excessive amounts of interaction with the outside world. They must engage the things, people, places and activities going on in the outside world for their life force.
While the E-I dimension was Jung's gift to general psychology, unfortunately it has been widely distorted into a well-unwell scale with characteristics of Introversion being cast in a negative light and conversely characteristics of Extraversion cast in a positive light. This cultural bias frequently leads natural introverted types to mis-identify their primary preference as Extraversion.
Extraverted Orientation relates to which mental preference one relies upon in dealing with/relating with the Outside World. It is the mental function that takes the lead in the Extraverted portion of a person's personality. When this leading function is one of the two Judging mental preferences, then this orientation is called Judging. When this leading function is one of the two Perceiving mental preferences, then this orientation is called Perceiving. In the Myers MBTI Type Code, this is the fourth letter.
"J" Those who prefer Judging rely upon either their T or F preference to manage their outer life. This typically leads to a style oriented towards closure, organization, planning, or in some fashion managing the things and or people found in the external environment. The drive is to order the outside world. While some people employ an assertive manner, others "ordering touch" - with respect to people - may be light.
"P" Those who prefer Perceiving rely upon either their S or N preference to run their outer life. This typically results in an open, adaptable, flexible style of relating to the things and people found in the outside world. The drive is to experience the outside world rather than order it; in general lack of closure is easily tolerated.
For person's whose Energy Orientation preference is E, the Extraverted Orientation (J or P) points to their dominant function, ergo "what you see is what you get." But for those whose Energy Orientation favors I, their Extraverted Orientation (J or P) is opposite their dominant function. Thus the four IxxJ types - whose extraverted style is Judging - are actually Perceiving types on the inside! Thus their extraverted "personality" can mask their primary nature. Likewise the four IxxP types - whose extraverted style is Perceiving and thus tend to have an open style - are actually on the inside Judging oriented!
After taking the Myers Briggs Personality Type? test I wasn't all that surprised with the results. As an introvert, I am
dependable, reliable and trustworthy, I thrive to belong to a solid organisation or employer that are reasonable in their goals and loyal to their employees. I feel useful when my roles and responsibilities are clearly established and enjoy clear feedback on productivity in tangible ways. I'm extremely modest, I prefer tradition and convention over extravagance, I like sensible clothing, I prefer thrift stores and am very careful and wise with both money and possessions.
When I'm given a project, I will see it to the end, sometimes over obsessively though. I manage time well and pretty realistic about how much time and resources will be needed. The only draw back is that if I am given an hour to do something I find it a personal goal to do it in half the time, and then get really anxious if the next task isn't immediately available. This can lead to a feeling that I am doing more than an extrovert who finds way to do a task more slowly.
I don't like change, I prefer familiarity and calm. I have stayed within a few kilometers of the neighbourhood I was raised in all my life. When I purchase something, it is after careful consideration; rarely will I buy something without having a need or use for it. Many of my possessions are personal gifts that may not have cost a lot, rather they where given out of love, and those are the ones that I cherish the most.
I tend to remember specific facts that are necessary in their day-to-day life at work and at home. I remember facts by connecting them with past experiences that have been proven trustworthy.
"A fact once experienced may be the product of circumstance and happenstance; it is not in and of itself reliable. When an introverted sensing type hears an idea, they rummage through reams of archived facts to find an experience that provides information for the relevance and realism of an idea. When an introverted sensing type utters, "It's never been done!" they are saying that no information about the relevance or usefulness of the idea is available to them. They tend to shy away from surprises and what is perceived as unnecessary change."
One of the biggest myth about introverts is "their must be something wrong with them" This couldn't be more wrong, the biggest difference between introverts and extroverts is how they react to stress.
Some people don’t understand how introverts react to stress. Because of this, they think that all introverts are “neurotic” or mentally ill. Let me explain why this is a misperception.
When extroverts are stressed they “act out”. They may smoke, drink, yell and scream, throw a punch, stomp around or generally raise the roof. Although this behavior is difficult and even obnoxious, it is not considered “mentally ill”.
When introverts are stressed, they withdraw. They do this to recharge their batteries, not because they are neurotic. Introverts need time alone to bring order back into their inner world. They give energy to others and receive energy when alone.
Let me reiterate some key points about 10% to 25% of the population who may have been told as children to "get out more" or "don't be so quiet". Introverts are territorial. Someone cannot take your seat, move your stuff, lean on your desk, ignore your closed door or borrow your clothes without making you very angry. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. If denied time alone, you may become irritable and depressed.
Introverts value privacy. When your boundaries are disregarded, when someone has a loud personal conversation on their cell phone in your captive presence, such as waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store, you can be annoyed and offended.
Introverts fear failure in public and experience deep humiliation because of it. If the teacher grabs you for a demonstration of a new skill or your spouse puts you on the spot to put a bicycle together it can be extremely stressful. Introverts prefer to communicate in writing. They may feel exhausted by too much verbal communication that “isn’t going anywhere”. Introverts hate small talk. Introverts like to be prepared. If rushed to present a solution or opinion, they may be extremely uncomfortable and sometimes refuse to do so at all.
Just because you see someone or work with someone who internalizes their feelings and aren't the one who is the first to lead the team, it doesn't mean they don't have ideas to share. Sometimes the "quiet man" is the one who has the most to share. It is theorized that Albert Einstein was an introvert.
Later,
Kenaz
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