Look's! it's Count Santa! 

Time to clean the chimney. 

Billy Van as a Witch doing a cooking show. He did the character with a Cher accent and manerisms, it has to be seen to understand how funny this character was. 

Aaron the Ape getting no respect. 

Reading his 'Out of Order' crystal ball. 

'Out of Order' 

The laboratory 

The Guru. He did segments that taught things like astrology and horiscopes. 

Price as the Wizard. 

This character introduced wild life segments. 

No joke, Igor here was played by Guy Big. 

Billy Van as the Count 

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein 

Vincent Price 

Happy New Year!

"Auld Lang Syne"

With Christmas over and a January 23 election looming on the horizon brighter than Stephen Harpers cluesless blue eyes. In keeping with tradition of many Canadaian's who take advantage of the after Christmas specials to clean up on cheap, used or slightly damaged discount goods, here is my list of polital gifts for this years crop of candidates. Please hum along with the music as you read, this could be the last song some of these candidates hear at this years dance, unless someone requests the less tasteful but yet more appropriate "a**hole" song.

Stephen Harper gets a pair of tweezers to remove that protruding stick from his backside and a copy of a copy of Machiavelli's The Prince. A world map to show him that Canada isn't a northern European welfare state , a copy of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, constitutional law textbooks. A dream catcher because we all know what he would use that for because he just keeps on dreaming. A brain from the wizard!

Paul Martin: A dictionary, to look up the word "hyprocrite, a big kiss from Bono. A Canadian flag so he could pass it on to his sons who now control Canada Steamship Lines. Maybe they could re-raise it on one of the ships that Paul gave a flag of convenience. A giant box of bandages as a little memento for him to hold up high and remind people of all the cuts he made to programs in the '90s, such as health care, military spending, housing etc. Tea and crumpets at Jean Chrétien's house. A new shovel because his is certainly broke from all the crap he's been throwing around. A heart from the wizard!

Jack Layton: A clue and some new flip-flops, he has been going through these like crazy! An old copy of the Communist Manifesto, so he and the NDP can quit hiding there roots. One night's free stay at any hospital in Canada. Courage from the Wizard!

Gilles Duceppe: English muffins and a copy of "You Know Your a Redneck When", so he can quit lying about his roots. The new Larousse Dictionary, the one with definitions for "separation," "independence" and "sovereignty association" in it so that he can decide which one he stands for. A prominent appearance on Molson's newest "I am Canadian/je suis Canadien" advertisement. A flight courtesy of a flying monkey around Canada.

To Sheila Copps, a cork, a sock, pie ... anything! She will know where to put it.

To all Canadians, a memory, as people seem to have forgotten that Paul Martin was "cutting the budgets" like crazy a decade ago. Suddenly, he's the defender of our socialist ideals? And a giant foam finger so we can better wave our indignation for all of the wrongs we the people have suffered. It would say "#1," in both French and English.

To the Conservative party, a platform. Running a "we're not them" campaign will not work as most people prefer the devil they know.

To the NDP, The Wealth of Nations so they can reminise about 'what was once' over a cup of joe and a box of Tim bits, because a 'Hortons will be the only place the NDP Party will be able to afford after January 23.

Later,
Kenaz

The Kenaz Awards For 2005

http://www.frinkism.com/collective/973/9400.jpg. The awards for those who made the headlines in 2005 in the spirit of this site.

Welcome to the first annual Kenaz awards. No glitz, no glamour, no expensive hand outs. Just a cold beer and some cheese to celebrate the stories that made you cheer, jeer or say 'Good lord!".

Missed The Boat Award
Goes to Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin for thinking his proposed handgun ban will stop the growing violence on Toronto streets and in other cities.

Warm and Fuzzies Award
Goes to nine year old Hannah Taylor who addressed Toronto's leaders of business on the subject of the growing homeless problem.

Person of the Year
Bill and Melinda Gates who give more money away to hummanitarian efforts than the Canadian government does! Need I say more.

Humanitarian Award
Angelina Jolie for her work with refugee children.

Iron Man Award
Hands down the biggest sports story was Lance Armstrong beating Cancer and winning his Seventh Tour de France

Anger Management Award
Russell Crowfor throwing a phone in a hotel in New York.

Injustice Award and Biggest Loser Award
The U.S and George Bush for denial of the truth, that it is time to leave Iraq

Wack Job of the Year
Tom Cruise for his many rants this year. ranging from his declaration of love to Oprah to blasting Brooke Sheilds for taking anti-depression medication.

Rockin the Planet Award
Live 8

Finally Something Good on TV Award
Chef Jamie Oliver's proactive assault on the school meals "crisis" in England

Wacky News Story of the Year
The six-foot alligator found protruding from the mid-section of a 13-foot Burmese python.

Bizzaro World Award
This has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in years. In case you missed it, here's Mike Tyson singing "Monster Mash" from the Halloween episode of Jimmy Kimmell.


Over Hyped Story of the Year
The $100 dollar laptop Where are these poor kids in Africa supposed to plug this damn thing in?

On the Horizon Award
Already a big story in Europe and Asia if it isn't stopped the Bird Flue can be next years Tragic Story of the Year.

Career Achievement Award
To Peter Jennings for his contributions to making the world a more understandable place.

Tragic Story of the Year
A tie.
Tsunami in Southeast Asia
Hurricane Katrina

Later,
Kenaz

Best Commercials of 2005

Advertisers have certainly ran the gamut of taste this year with their offering of television ads. I don't want to induce nausia by bringing up the plethera of underwear splatter that inindated our air waves. Lets just say the worst ad award goes to "Go Daddy.com" for treating their customers like cavemen. Their ads depict a now WWE "Diva" performing an impromptu strip tease at a congressional hearing type conference. Gimme a break! Thank god Sergey Brin and Larry Page, founders of the number one search engine "Google" don't need to stoop as low as Bob Parsons

Now lets get on with my picks for the best television ads for 2005. These are all from www.ifilm.com

All of these open in Windows Media Player,

Anheuser Busch-Bud Light: Cedric the Entertainer

CareerBuilder.com: Monkey Business

CareerBuilder.com: More Monkey Business

CareerBuilder.com: Kissing Monkey Butt

Visa: Can Superheroes Help?

Quizno's: Talking Baby

Pizza Hut: It's the Muppet Show

Degree for Men

Ameriquest: Cat Killer

These Canadian Ads are from www.canada4life.ca/videos.php and are in .mmv format.

Molson- Do you really want to hurt me?

Molson-Pet Beaver

From http://www.advertisementave.com

Federal Express-Castaway

Mastercard-Speding Quality Time with Your Family -Featuring Homer Simpson

Apple-Flight with Verne and Yao

Budweiser-What's Up - Outer Space

As far as some of my favourite new ones, at the top of the list has to be that new Geico commercial with Tony Little pretending to advertise his exercise machine. The

"I just saved a ton of money on my auto insurance by switching to Geico... YOU CAN DO IT!!"

The only thing better is if they got Susan Powter to poke fun of her ads from the eighties, the ones in which she screams "Stop the Insanity!".

Later,
Kenaz

My 2006 Calendar

January, start of a new year for the family.
February
March, my parents aniversery.
April, the union.
May, for my mom. Always Eternal.
June, for Dad. All and then some more was always provided.
July
August, for my craft.
September, pride.
October, Halloweem.
November, my birthday.
December, Christmas.

Later,
Kenaz

Satellite Maps of Hamilton

A while back I came across a great new feature added to Google. Google Maps allows you to view an address either with a standard map or in a neat satellite map version. They also have a Hybrid mode showing the street names overlayed. The satellite map is great when a visual reference of a unfamilliar location is greatly needed. As an example, a couple of weeks ago the final episode of "The Amazing Race" aired. I had to laugh when one team could not locate the CN Tower in Toronto, standing a few blocks away. I guess looking up was too obvious when locating a 822 foot tower that is visible from miles away. Anyway I digress, I went fooling around and captured some great satellite shots of Hamilton.

My street, also visable is Ivor Wynn Stadiun, home of the Hamilton Tiger Cats of the Canadian Footbal League.
My street
Royal Botanical Gardens, Burlington, Ontario
Gage Park
Gage Park
City Hall and the Canadian Footbal Hall of Fame
Downtown Hamilton, King and James
Lock Street Bakery is a famous Hamilton place to get the freshest bagels, baked on the premise. Across the street is the Bulldog Cafe, around the corner is my agent.

Later,
Kenaz

Willie Johnson

I picked up this little piece of gold this year after compiling a few hundred MP3's to be used on my online radio site. http://www.live365.com/stations/theeternalkenaz?play. The station plays mainly OTR radio programs from the Golden Era of radio, but I also play a large number of classic blue and jazz tracks. While compiling my playlists I came across several tracks by Blind Willie Johnson, one of which was Dark Was the Night. I was so moved by this track, I ran out of the house and headed for the local CD place. A search of the racks turned up a copy of a 1998 compilation CD of Johnson of the same title. For a little sum of $9.98 CDN what you get is an experience she won't forget. Below is a detailed review of this song and album, including lyrics

Blind Willie Johnson - Dark Was the Night (1998)[Columbia/Legacy]

http://www.emusic.com/m3u/song/10587489/10514685.m3u

Reviews:
Even in the blues, a style capable of wrenching unexplainable emotions from its audience, Blind Willie Johnson has few equals. With a voice capable of alternating effortlessly between sublime, trembling tenor and the sound of pure gravel, and unparalleled skill with the bottleneck (and knife), Johnson recorded 30 sides for Columbia (1927-1930) that stand as a high-water mark for both country blues and raw gospel. Given the fact that his entire output has been issued by both Yazoo and Columbia, it's difficult to imagine opting for this single disc. Anyone looking for more material will be forced to purchase sets with redundant selections. Still, if you are only seeking one collection, you cannot go wrong with Dark Was the Night. Included are both "God Moves on the Water" and "Dark Was the Night, Cold Was the Ground," which are both utterly necessary, along with the classics "Praise God I'm Satisfied," "Jesus Make Up My Dying Bed," "John the Revelator," and 11 others. "God Moves" is a slide masterpiece in which Johnson's guitar interjections and responses become as captivating as his voice and a tale of the Titanic sinking at the will of God. "Dark Was the Night" is an otherworldly performance of gorgeously spun slide lines and Johnson's wordless moaning, aimed straight at the heart. Everything else on hand is nothing less than emotionally rich, consummately executed and spiritually charged blues at its very best. ~ Nathan Bush, All Music Guide

DARK WAS THE NIGHT
(Gallagher/Jackson/Blind Willie Johnson) Universal

Dark was the night
Cold was the ground
No one in sight
I 'm alone

Too hard my heart
I'll cut off my tounge
The things I've said
The things I've done

I was a fool
And just like a fool
I was as blind as I was cruel

Dark was the night
Cold was the ground
No one in sight
Just me and the moon

Dark was the night
Cold was the river
As I refected apon
The things I couldn'r give her

I built a house
Couldn't make it a home
So I painted the walls
and left her alone

She was strong
For so so long
By the time I came round
She was gone

Dark was the night
Cold was the ground
No one in sight
Now I 'm alone

Brendan Gallagher : vocal, guitars, percussion, treated piano, national steel
Michael Galeazzi : double bass
Stuart Eadie : kick and hats
Jason Cooney : saxophone
Kath Weymss : backing vocals

"Blind" Willie Johnson (c. 1902-1945), was a blues and gospel musician, one of the greatest exponents of slide or bottleneck guitar, as well as one of the most revered figures of depression-era gospel music. His music is distinguishable by his powerful bass strumming and gravelly false-bass voice, with occasional use of a tenor voice.

While 1902 is most frequently given as his year of birth, earlier dates or estimates are also given; he may have been born as early as 1897. According to different sources, Johnson was either born in Marlin, Texas or at least spent part of his childhood there. Johnson was not born blind, and, although it is not specifically known how his condition came about, it is widely believed that his stepmother, in a fit of rage, blinded him when he was 7 years old by throwing lye in his face.

Like many destitute people with physical disabilities at the time, Blind Willie Johnson earned his living from music. His father would often leave him on street corners to sing for money, where his powerful voice left an indelible impression on passersby (legend has it that he was arrested for nearly starting a riot at a New Orleans courthouse with a powerful rendition of "If I Had My Way I'd Tear the Building Down", a song about Samson and Delilah).

Johnson remained poor until the end, preaching and singing in the streets to anyone who would listen. In 1945, his home inexplicably burned to the ground. With nowhere else to go, Johnson lived in the burned ruins of his home until, two weeks later, he contracted pneumonia and died.

He made some 30 commercial recording studio record sides for Columbia Records from 1927 through 1930. His records have kept his music tremendously influential and his songs have been covered by several popular artists, including Led Zeppelin who covered 'Nobody's Fault But Mine' and Beck and The White Stripes who have covered 'John the Revelator'. Some of his most famous recordings include his rendition of the famous gospel song "Let Your Light Shine On Me", as well as the raw, powerful "Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground", about the crucifixion of Jesus.

Johnson's recording of "Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground" was included on the Voyager Golden Record, sent into space with the Voyager spacecraft in 1977. This recording also got Johnson mentioned on an episode of the fictional television series The West Wing (see "The Warfare of Genghis Khan"); the fictional Assistant White House Chief of Staff Josh Lyman using Johnson's recording to show the depth and soul behind the space program. The song is also used in Walk the Line, a biopic of country singer Johnny Cash; and The Devil's Rejects, a serial killer film by rocker Rob Zombie. Ry Cooder, who based his desolate soundtrack to Paris, Texas on "Dark Was the Night (Cold Was the Ground)," described it as "The most soulful, transcendent piece in all American music."

"Dark was the night" is a “moan.” A moan is simply a style of wordless singing. And since it is a lament without words, we are left to wonder about the singer’s personal story, experiencing only his pain. Johnson’s “Dark Was the Night” moan is both gorgeous and eerie at the same time as the sliding notes on the guitar strings chase and match the singer’s haunting, wordless vocals.

Later,
Kenaz